Saturday, November 14, 2009

*sigh(s)*

It is cold and wet outside. It has been like this all week... Oh well, we've been thinking, discussing, arguing about it all week too... (The gloomy weather is the last thing we need to worry about right now...) *sigh*

Why the long face?

We are at one of life many crossroads: we have to make important decisions that would ultimately alter the course of our life. Ok la, to a certain extend, all decisions are potentially life-changing ones... but I guess the magnitude that makes the difference. To illustrate, the problem we are facing right now is challenging even the existence of this blog! How huge is that? Hahaha... If you know what I mean... I've been trying to apply everything I learned from work and CIMA: decision trees, scenario planning, sensitivity analysis etc to help us make the right decision, but somehow it seems much more complicated and difficult in real (personal) life. I feel like we have too many unknowns in the equation that by just applying assumed probability for things to happen is too big a risk for us to take at this juncture. Faham tak? Neither do I... I think what I'm saying is that we are not sure what to do next, considering the new circumstances that are upon us... *sigh*

"Deal with just one thing at a time" Abah advised me. So, here we go...

The first thing on our list is our CIMA exams. In less than 2 weeks time, both of us will be sitting for yet another paper (each of us is taking different papers) in our never-ending quest for the professional qualification. Yup, I know... After 3 years you would think that we should really have our certs already... Yup, we REALLY are taking our sweet own time! And without fail, again this time, we left the studying to the very last minutes... Mana la tak stress! *sigh*

Next, come January, our tenancy agreement for the Elgin house will expire. The landlady has been pressing for our answer whether or not to continue with the tenancy. In fact she wants the answer by this Monday, so that she would have ample time to look for a new tenant should we decide to move. We would love to keep staying here but the thing is, with the certain reduction of our housing allowance (another issue in its own right *SIGH*) coupled with the inflating rent, we may no longer be able to afford it. Sounds like a straightforward decision? Think again... Moving costs money upfront, quite a big sum pulak tu! We would need a minimum of 6 weeks rent for deposit, plus some dough for cleaning and moving services. Moreover, we haven't got the chance to really look for alternative houses, as the bad news about the allowance came only very recently. Only then we can do a little bit more detailed comparison of the relevant costs of staying vs moving: rent, commuting cost, nursery, council taxes etc for us to make the right decision.

This predicament, I believe, on its own is no big deal. Only that it is being magnified tenfold by the fact that I'm still jobless. I've been applying for some jobs that I thought would be good for my career and at the same time make good use of my skills and experience. Sadly, I've hit a wall taking that path... *sigh* Now I have no choice but to try for everything, to go for anything that I can get hold of, tak kira la kerja apa... "Desperate time requires desperate measure"... *sigh*

But hey, I'm still quite positive that I'll get a job, and that it's just a matter of timing. Unfortunately though, time is what I do not have right now... Here in the UK, thousands of workers are being laid off and thousands more are reported to follow suit, all fallen casualties of the current economic recession. My optimism is running (very) thin... *sigh*

The thing is, it's quite... Err, I stand corrected, it's REALLY difficult to enjoy a quality life here by relying on just one income. Of course we can survive, but is it better compared to living in Malaysia?

Are these ques for us to move back to Malaysia? I don't know... But it's an option that we are seriously considering if the situation does not improve i.e. if I don't get a job soon... *sigh*

On a different, unrelated note: my parents, older brother and some of my aunties including Cik Yam are going for Haj this year. They'll fly off for Mecca this coming Monday and will be back a few days after Christmas. I wish them all a safe journey, and semoga dikurniakan haji yang mabrur, amin...



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