Had a my performance appraisal session with my boss this morning. She is happy with my performance so far. She said I am quick to learn and has the right attitude. Alhamdullillah. Even though the rating does not really relate to my increment this year because I am new to the position, I am still flattered and estatic with the result. To know that your hard work is recognised is a wonderful thing. Especially when I have this guilt feeling of not being able to be at home with Noah. I feel slightly sad sometimes when Noah prefers his Daddy. I could be a homemaker and raise Noah full time.. but because of the circumstances, I can't right now.
A take away from my previous boss, if you feel quilty of leaving your children to go to work, make sure you make the time at work worth while. It was a greatest revelation for me then. I remember it well because it was the time that I just got Noah. I believe she is 100% right. What is the point if you are away from your love ones, and not even good at what you do. You will be a mediocre with the guilt feeling that is haunting you at the office. If you are good at you do and being rewarded accordingly, you are able to provide the best for your love ones too. You have done some sacrifices so it should be properly rewarded. The rewards should gives you the work satisfaction and that is a very important element to keep you motivated.
However, things at home should be of your focus too. I believe unhappy home, will effect your performance at the office. The key is to strike the right balance. Maybe I am not able to spend a great deal of time at home so I should make the time a Quality time.
Back to the appraisal, my current boss said that she wants me to aim to replace her one day. She is confident that I can do it and she is giving at most 3 years to be in her position. I just have to put my mind and work towards it, she said.
My current boss has high expectations on herself and also on other people. So if a person like her thinks I can do it... I guess I have what it takes. I just need to believe in myself. I shall remember this and should set it as my career goal. InsyaAllah, I will get there one day. Just has to work hard... and pray hard. InsyaAllah.