Moving..

Noah asked me this morning whether we are going home. I asked him where is home. He said at school, turn left. He meant the Robinscroft Mews.

He had 2 years of his 3 years life there. So that place is the home that he remembers. I then showed him another picture. I told him, this will be our new home. We shall be at Willow Walk, Orpington.

He then chose his room out of the floor plan and asked whether his toys will be there. Mater? Kapow (lightning McQueen)? I said to him, yes... They all will be there.

We are waiting anxiously for the vendor to complete the necessary documentation so we can move on. More like move into, into our new place where we can call home. This time, no more skimpy and fussy landlords, no more check-out inventories.

We will the proud owners to the home, sharing together with our kind 'investors'! Wish us luck...

Yup... This was taken at Robinscroft Mews. See the packing in action!! 

Why did you leave your last job?

The toughest question in the interview for me is 'why did you leave your last job?'

I did not leave, I was made to leave. That sucks! Though it was under pretext of redundancy but in my case, I was the only one being made redundant! So can't help but felt like I got fired!

Me..? Looking for a job now. How is it going? I applied to many posts, but being called to two interviews which I have yet to receive any feedbacks. So no news is good news for now. It is not that easy to find the right job in this country... but maybe because I always worried that it would not be easy. So all these could just be a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Yes... I need to have more patience. It can't happen overnight. I am glad that at least I was called for interviews. At least they have found me interesting and the experience anecdotes on my CV have some values.

Redundancy? Yup.. I had so many questions that were left unanswered. First they said I could stay on in London if home country management was fine with it. I went to see them, they said I could do that by resigning from home country's office. I was ecstatic that there was such option until I was told that my resignation was backfired. Shortly after that, I received my redundancy notice but the story had changed to KL had nothing to do with it. Though on my last day, they put the blame on KL, again. Then, on my appeal decision, it was all just coincidental that the dates matched with my resignation from the home country's office, in KL.

I felt I had enough with all these stupid charades! I am going to go with my gut feeling that it was KL all along and somebody here do not dare to go against them.

I read an article saying, it is your fault that you lost your job. Yeah, could be.. I should have listened to my instinct. I was being naive to think it was an option and put my belief on the management. To think about it again, I had always known that it was a problem for them to accept the fact that I requested to stay on, not to go back to KL as they have instructed. It was just they could not say it to my face. I should have read between the lines. I suppose, if I was to pay enough attention, I would be able to see it on their faces and hear the anxiousness in their voices though the words that fell from their mouths were favourable. But it was too late to act. I was not given a chance to retract my resignation because, I was told at that time that KL had nothing to do with the decision... until at that last moment. However, when it came to the time to put on paper, the story had changed again.

On the hindsight, some of them said, I should have secured a job here, then only resign. Again, this is because of my stupidity, I should have known not to trust the words of so called leaders. Need to be backed up in writing!! Lesson is well learnt, mucho gracias!

I need to move on from what happened in the past. I have to say, disappointment, frustration, victimisation, anger...  were the feelings that I had when they said that my redundancy was confirmed. They do not even think that I have family to take care off. Felt unwanted and unvalued after all these years serving them. While I was having all these feelings towards them, to them... I was a nobody. Business went on like usual when I left. I was just a number in the books. Nothing else.

However, I realised, I can't control what they have done to me. I can't change it either. All that I can control is how I feel about it. I no longer feel vengeful or angry. I feel challenged. I feel that I am strong and can survive no matter what are the odds. I feel that I do not need them. I am capable and able to determine where I am going next. It is a matter of choice. I am going to try this route, to stay in this country and see what she can offer me. If it end up with nothing much, I could always venture elsewhere.

Though it has not been easy since I was asked to leave my job. Sometimes there are days where that evil worries crept into me questioning, do we have enough? Will we able to survive? But I have to say, so far we are actually fine. We are not starved. We can still afford roof on our head. We are able to put clothes on ourselves. Our family and friends are there to give us support and help. Maybe, family holiday is not part of the equation right now but what's more important... we feel genuinely blessed. Now, I feel much closer to Allah. I pray to him relentlessly hoping things will turnaround so I am able to provide again, to my family, to pay off my debts, to be independent again.

Soon, it is coming... I have to remind this to myself every single day. Universe is unfolding its page one by one. I have to follow it in order, can't skip a page or a chapter no matter how desperate I wanted to. I will need to keep faith that somewhere in that book, there is a page that read, I got my dream job. For now, I have to keep persevere and put my faith in Him, for He the Most Gracious, Merciful and Most Knowing. InsyaAllah.

All around Scotland

We decided to look for snow. Instead of going to Europe continent, we decided to go to Scotland. It is a breathtaking, beautiful country.. What more, the trip put my mind at ease. A distraction from reality. Spending quality time with beloved family.. Alhamdulillah..

Azerbajaini gastro experience

We sampled a new taste of food for iftar last night. The Azerbaijan cuisine courtesy of our kind hostess Gular at her beautiful flat with gorgeous view.

The food had influences of Persian, Turkish and Russian but the Azerbaijanis made it their own. My favourite was kalam dolmasi which is the cabbage dolmar. Mince lamb meat, cooked with a bit of rice and spices and wrapped with cabbage leaves. There was also the dolmar wine/grape leaves, also with mince meat filling. The grape leaves gave it a slight herbal tangy taste. The other delicious dish was lamb chops cooked with potatoes. Absolutely delicious. i totally approved!

Apparently, this is a typical food for Azerbaijanis which mainly consists of meat, vege and more meat. It is no wonder the girls are hawt because they are constantly on Atkins diet!

We were absolutely stuffed though I was still wishing we could have some more. The hostess packed some leftovers of cabbage dolmar for our sahur. I was a one happy bunny. Though with a full stomach, i was thinking about the taste of those succulent meat and soft tender cabbage leaves all the way back from her house.

Till sahur comes i shall wait..but guess what? I woke up this morning and looked at the clock. It was 7am! I missed sahur completely.

Story of Noah and the potty...

Noah now already 3 and he is in this critical time of his life.. learning to use potty.

He was so good in the beginning and now...he just a bit distracted.
Once, he just sat with his wet pants for a good half an hour because he was too occupied with ipad.

The other day, it was whilst playing wii that he sat with his pants wet and it was on the same sofa. He even pooed on nursery pillow once. I think they may have thrown the pillow away. Too much mess to clean up. Hehe..

It doesn't help when we always go out during weekends so he always wears his nappies. So we really need to get him started again on serious training.
Insyaallah... He will able to go through this phase of his life. Everybody has to go through this.. Even me.. So we need to remind ourselves to be more patient and persistent.

The kid getting smarter each day. Amazing to see his development of learning so many things in a short time. It is true that they say, human learning curve is at the highest at toddler stage.

Good luck Noah in your future journey. Momma and daddy will support you in which ever way that we can. Semoga membesar menjadi anak yang soleh dan beriman. Amin..

Je Taime , Paris

We needed a break so we decided to visit our dear friends at Paris. Anis, Ariff and Alis were such s superb hosts showing us around. This trip has made me fell in love with the city.
I thought of listing the things that I like about Paris and below are about 10 of them, which are not in any particular order.

1) The walk along the River Seine after seeing the historic building of Notre Dame.
2) The feeling of humming the theme from la vie en rose out loud while walking along the street of Paris
3) Parisian chic wannabes including moi... Merci beaucoup!
4) The cafe's culture and how's the chairs are lined up facing the street. Parisian loves people watching!
5) Rustic and majestic look of Eiffel tower looking down at the city
6) French language... Even the announcement on Metro trains sounds good.
7) The romantic feel of Paris.. Makes you want to snog in the middle of the street.
8) The shopping spree (liking then... Not after you receive credit card bills though..)
9) The automated portable toilets randomly situated by the streets. It was very clean and high tech. Even better if you know french in order understand the instructions when using it.
10) The food! glorious food! Pastries, baguettes, macaroons, chocolatiers particularly Angelina hot chocs and etc.

Last but not least (yeah.. not exactly 10 lah), the hope and excitement to visit the city again...
This time will spend more time on museums and arts!

Any dislikes? Not gonna dwell on things that i dont like. All positives nowadays! Thats my current mantra... Cest la vie!

Its Noah's 3rd Bday...

Tokwan sent a beautiful, special E-card to Noah. I love it so much! Tried to put up on FB but has restriction on copyright bla bla.. But I still want to show case this to the world, (by world mean yeah.. all three of you!) So here it is, a special birthday wish on the virtual world from Noah's Tokwan, Tokmak and Paksu.

p/s: Isn't Noah's Tokwan the coolest ever? Even I do not think I will be able to produce that. Not to mention Muzzy... :)

Many happy returns and fresh starts

Back on my bike... after a 3-month break due to severe weather condition (freezing/snowing, basically winter!). My main excuse was that I didn't have the right set of tyres to cycle in the icy conditions. Moreover, it certainly wasn't good for my body to be cycling in the subzero temperatures anyway! Hehehe, nama pun alasan...

Back to the textbooks... I'm determined to take three exam papers this May. Haven't started at all but I will soon! Hehehe

Back to basic... shipping basic that is! I have to prepare a ppt presentation for a senior member of my company on "introduction to shipping / the company". It is more a favour to a friend rather than my own, day-to-day work. I haven't started, although the deadline is tomorrow (yikes, what was I thinking volunteering for this?) Have to crank it up now... Luckily I have drafted the storyboard before the weekend started...

Back to Alp d Huez... err... next week insyaAllah. Last time we were there, it was about 10 years ago, and not surprising it was the only time we went skiing. Really looking forward to the much needed holiday... We have even booked a place for Noah in the ski school for toddlers for the entire week we will be there - so his parents can concentrate on their own ski lessons (we definitely need them!).

Some new stuff too...

New place... moved to a new venue for my weekly badminton session that is. The BBC (breakfast & badminton club :) ) decided to move to a much better sports centre, now at Little Venice. Two main advantages here - no more 7am session (now 8am, yeay!) and we got the entire sports hall to ourselves! Boleh main sampai kaki cramped (like yesterday hehehe).

New friends... in the form of Shamsul and his family. They have been living here for ages, one of those families yang kita boleh panggil orang kampung (Croydon!). They visited our humble abode for tea yesterday, and Eju actually served tea and scones! Hahaha... Nasib baik she served roti canai and curry too, for that one particular orang kampung (Pontian!) hehehe...

New experience... watched a live NBA game at the O2, New Jersey Nets vs Toronto Raptors. Not really a fan but since I got a free ticket (dalam corporate box pulak tu), I figured why not! The game was more interesting towards the end (err, with the exception of the half time show :) ), when the scores were tied three times, so three overtimes! Habis jugak la suara... Final result, the Nets won by a point (like that has any significance to me anyway...). Nevertheless, a good night out.




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Location:London,United Kingdom

The juggling of a sick child and work

Noah has not been feeling rather poorly in these past few weeks. After one thing to another...

Three weeks ago, he scared his parents by waking up in a morning and unable to walk. He complained and whimpered whenever he put pressure on his right leg. We rushed him to Accident and Emergency at St. Mary Hospital that morning so both of us had to take leave from work. Whilst we were waiting to see the doctor, Noah, miraculously started to run all over the places. He was overwhelmed and motivated by the heaps of toys available at the children clinic's waiting area. Me and Muz looked at each other, relieved but at the same time puzzled at just what had happened.

A week after that fateful morning, I received a call from nursery saying Noah had a little accident. He fell on his head whilst playing football. They called the ambulance. Again, Noah was at the A&E, but this time at Lewisham University Hosp. The minute I received the phonecall, I was up from my bed (I was down with a flu at that time so I was at home) and found myself walking towards the nursery while talking to Muz on my mobile. I followed Noah on the ambulance without my wallet/id. Noah was ok. Infact, he was excited that he was able to be on the a 'ne no'. Kept pointing at the ambulance and said... Mama, mama... yook (look) ne no... then making the so called siren sound... ne no ne no ne no!

By the way, he got a small cut at the back of his head and doctor put some sort of glue to close the wound. This was on Wednesday...

On the next Monday, he woke up and complained about his left leg. Just like the right leg before, he was limping and could not put pressure on his left leg. It is a busy day for Muz so I had to take some time off work and bring Noah to A&E, yet again. At the same time, he had runny nose and eyes infection. He was x-rayed but Doctor could not pin point to anything so... she asked us to bring him home and monitor him for the next few days. She suspected that this could also due to the runny nose and eyes infection. He was better, infact started jumping that evening itself. So again, we had to juggle work to be at home with him and monitor him in the next few days.

It is a nightmare when your child is sick and both of you are working in this country. The nursery do not accept sick children. So when Noah is sick, we have no choice but to take time off from work and take turns to look after him. I am beginning to consider taking a nanny but live in nanny is very expensive. Well.. no wonder a lot of mothers over here decided not to work when they start a family. It is cheaper than having to find full time nanny to look after your infant. It helps as well that they will receive allowances on their kids and for themselves from the government. Although, this new government is slowly taking all that away. Oh well.. that is a different story.

In the past few weeks, Muz and I had been missing work a few times to look after Noah. Although, I always try to catch up by working from home, but it is not something that is common at my workplace. Most of the people there are mostly single, or married without children. So, I do feel kind of odd one out, if I kept on having to work from home.

This is what I miss most about Malaysia. The support system that we have. I am sure Noah's Atuks wouldn't mind looking after him when he is feeling a bit poorly. Furthermore, you are much at peace at work because you know your kids are with people that you trust and who loves them very much.

Looking forward to that once we are back at home. In the meantime, these are the peril that you have to face in return of other rewards.

My parents are coming to visit their grandkids soon. Alhamdullillah...

By the way..

 Pictures of Noah from BB! From last summer and this winter..